I chose this
background image because on January 26, 2001 Shelby's mom gave birth to a
beautiful little girl. I know in my heart that Shelby will love and protect
her baby sister for eternity.
It has been
almost a year now since Shelby was torn from this earth. Although I never
met her I miss her. I feel badly that it took her death for me to even know
of her existance. Although I never actually met her I feel as if I have known
her because of all the wonderful stories I have been told about her by so
My good friend
Veronica sent me these
poems she has, I think they fit here quite nicely.
ask me if I am over it yet.
never be over it
don't tell me she is in a better place.
isn't here with me.
don't say at least she isn't suffering.
haven't come to terms with why she had to suffer at all.
don't tell me you know how I feel.
you have lost a child.
don't ask me if I feel better.
isn't a condition that clears up
don't tell me at least you had her for 4 years.
year would you choose to have your child die?
don't tell me that God never gives us more then we can bear.
just say you are sorry.
just say you remember my child, if you do.
let me talk about my child.
mention my child's name.
just let me cry.
agony globe is also a gift from Veronica
she made it for bereaved parents with her own agony in mind. She too lost
Bereaved Parents Wish List
wish my child hadn't died. I wish I had her back.
wish you wouldn't be afraid to speak my child's name. My child lived and
was very important to me. I need to hear that she was important to you also.
If I cry and get emotional when you talk about my child, I wish you knew
that it isn't because you have hurt me. My child's death is the cause of
my tears. You have talked about my child, and you have allowed me to share
my grief. I thank you for both.
a bereaved parent is not contagious, so I wish you wouldn't shy away from
me. I need you now more than ever.
need diversions, so I do want to hear about you; but I also want you to
hear about me. I might be sad and I might cry, but I wish you would let
me talk about my child, my favorite topic of the day.
know that you think of and pray for me often. I also know that my child's
death pains you, too. I wish you would let me know those things through
a phone call, a card or note, or a real big hug.
wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be over. These first years are traumatic
for me, but I wish you could understand that my grief will never be over.
I will suffer the death of my child until the day I die.
I am working very hard in my recovery, but I wish you could understand that
I will never fully recover, I will always miss my child, and I will always
grieve that she is dead.
wish you wouldn't expect me "not to think about it" or to "be happy". Neither
will happen for a very long time, so don't frustrate yourself.
don't want to have a "pity party", but I do wish you would let me grieve.
I must hurt before I can heal.
wish you understood how my life has shattered. I know it is miserable for
you to be around me when I'm feeling miserable. Please be as patient with
me as I am with you.
I say, "I'm doing okay", I wish you could understand that I don't "feel"
okay and that I struggle daily.
I hope this
page offers you, Shelby's Family, some degree of comfort in this trying time.
With the one year anniversary of Shelby's death coming up and the trial also
coming soon I know you will be needing all the comfort you can get. Please
know that I, like many others, are here for you should you need us.